I had never heard of “Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome” in cats until, as the story often goes, one day it happened to me. Or rather, it happened to my two sweet kitties, Trouble and Squirt.
Squirt and Trouble are brothers, littermates who were brought into my life 9 years ago by their feral mama, who somehow decided that my backyard looked like a safe place to set up camp. They were about 10 weeks old when I caught my first glimpse of them.
At first, I saw only their mother, who looked skinny and hungry. I quietly brought out a plate of food for her, which she immediately buried her face into once I had retreated to what she thought was a safe distance. After eating some of the food, I heard her chirp… and out from underneath a hibiscus bush came adorable, hungry little kittens!
Eventually, I adopted and socialized the boys (mama kitty disappeared before I had a chance to catch her). Trouble was a big, confident kitten, with a jet black coat that literally shines blue in the sunlight. Squirt was the runt of the litter, a quiet and gentle gray tabby with beautiful stripes. They were sweet, funny, and inseparable.
That is, until “The Incident”.
My Introduction To Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome
About 6 months ago, I was walking across the floor in bare feet and happened to step on, of all things, a tooth. As it turned out, it was an intact canine tooth belonging to Trouble that had somehow snapped off at his gumline. As a former Veterinary Technician, my “Oh, $*@&” alarm went off, since a retained tooth root will eventually become infected if it isn’t removed. I immediately made an appointment at the vet for emergency dental surgery.
After Trouble’s surgery (during which he not only had his tooth root successfully taken out, but also 2 other damaged teeth pulled), I went to pick him up at the vet. Unfortunately, he had been the last surgery on the schedule, so he was still pretty groggy from the anesthetic by the time I got there. Since I had several years of experience recovering veterinary patients who were coming out of anesthetic, rather than leave him there overnight, I was able to take him home to finish waking up.
Here’s where I made my first mistake. After attempting to keep him in a dimly-lit, quiet room for a few hours to finish recovering (during which he freaked out that the door was closed and kept clawing at the door and rubbing his nose under the door crack until the fur literally rubbed off), I decided he was awake enough to go out into the rest of the house with supervision.
Unfortunately, when I opened the door and Trouble bolted out of the room, Squirt was on the other side of the door. I can only imagine what Squirt must have thought when he saw his brother coming straight at him with his fur puffed up, smelling like anesthetic, and looking wild-eyed like Doc Brown from “Back to the Future”. Squirt immediately freaked out, hissed, and ran upstairs to hide.
For the next few days, Squirt avoided Trouble like the plague. The problem was, Trouble wanted his brother for comfort, so he insisted on following Squirt everywhere. This led to a few hissing and growling matches between them, which I thought would eventually subside.
About 2 days later, I was in the kitchen when I heard the most ungodly sound I’ve ever heard coming from the living room. In a matter of seconds, both cats had run upstairs, screaming and slamming their bodies into the wall all the way up. I ran after them for what seemed like an eternity, and by the time I got upstairs, Trouble had cornered Squirt in the bathroom.
There was urine all over the tile floor, with clumps of black and gray fur everywhere. But what I’ll never forget was the look on their faces. Squirt was utterly terrified, laying on his back with his feet in the air, ready to defend himself to the death, while Trouble looked heartbreakingly confused, like he didn’t quite understand what had just happened.
What Is Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome?
Simply put, Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome in cats occurs when one cat is inexplicably aggressive to another cat in the household after both have been separated – usually after a trip by one cat to the vet, or after time spent in a boarding kennel. This aggression can lead to vicious attacks against each other, and the aggression can also be redirected to humans in the household (which fortunately did not happen to us).
This behavior, which seems to be unique to cats and does not seem to occur in dogs, is not completely understood, even by veterinary behaviorists. Each case is different, but in most cases, the behavior can escalate to ongoing feuding between the cats, which can lead to the cats’ relationship being permanently broken if something isn’t done to stop it.
Possible Causes of Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome
There are 2 main theories as to why Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome occurs, especially in cases when one cat has been to the vet and returns home.
- The returning cat looks or acts differently due to anesthesia or sedation. The cat may appear wobbly, or walk or behave differently, which can be alarming to the other cat.
- The returning cat, who has been touched by strange humans, or picked up the odors of other animals, disinfectant, iodine, alcohol, or anesthetic gas while at the vet’s, smells differently. Since cats recognize each other by smell first (not by sight), the returning cat can appear to be a total stranger when he comes home. The resident cat then thinks, this may look like my buddy, but they don’t act or smell like my buddy… they must be an intruder!
- Sometimes while at the vet, cats can also become so frightened that they involuntarily express their anal glands, which are small sacs located next to the anus. The contents of the anal glands contain strong-smelling pheromones that can linger even after the cat has been cleaned. When the returning cat comes home literally smelling of fear, it can frighten the other cat enough to prompt an attack.
In our case, I believe that Squirt, who is quieter and more shy, became so afraid of Trouble that he began slinking around acting fearful and submissive, which may have somehow actually provoked Trouble to attack him. Cat behavior is complex, and can definitely be difficult to understand!
What To Do If Your Cats Experience Non-Recognition Aggression
First, safely separate the 2 cats immediately. Although you will probably be alarmed, do not yell at the cats or raise your voice. The cat who seems to be the aggressor should be herded into a separate room to give him time to settle down.
How you handle things afterward becomes very important. These strategies can be used to give the cats a chance to recover and, hopefully, return to normal.
- Keep the cats separated in different parts of the house, with no visibility to each other, for as long as it takes for them to act calmly again. Be patient – this can take hours, days… or weeks. Each cat should have his own litter box, food and water, and bedding. Never let the cats “work it out” themselves by fighting. This will only lead to more severe, and sometimes permanent, aggression.
- During the initial time-out, don’t try to soothe the cats; just leave them alone to give them time to calm down on their own.
- Over the next few days, give the cats a chance to reacquaint themselves with each other’s scent without actually seeing each other. You can do this by “scent-swapping”: exchange items that smell like the other cat, such as their beds or toys. You can also take a sock, place it over your hand, and rub one cat for a few minutes, then place the sock on the floor in the other cat’s room. This gives each cat a chance to smell the other without having to actually see them.
- During the time-out periods, play with each cat daily and give them both lots of attention. Playing, especially with wand toys, gives them an outlet for their aggression and redirects their focus onto something other than each other.
- Gradually reintroduce the cats through a crack in the door, or with the use of a pet or baby gate so they can get a glimpse of each other without being able to have direct physical contact. Whenever the cats see each other without acting aggressively, give them lots of treats and praise so they come to associate good things with being in each other’s presence.
- Only when you are certain there will not be any further attacks, allow the cats to be near each other while supervised. If there are any signs of aggression, separate them and try again the next day. BE PATIENT and don’t rush them. Every cat is different.
I’d like to be able to say that this process was quick and easy with Squirt and Trouble. It wasn’t. I had to keep them separated for at least a week, then it took 3 more weeks to gradually re-introduce them. I used a tall pet gate (which was a lifesaver), and used the guest bedroom as a “safe zone”, swapping them in and out of that room until they got used to each other’s smells again. I played with each cat separately for 30 minutes a day while they were apart, and also gave them treats like crazy so they learned that every time they saw each other, they got the best food ever.
Eventually, they were reunited, and thankfully, they are now back to being best friends.
Can Non-Recognition Aggression Be Prevented?
The short answer is, sometimes, but not always. That being said, there are some things you can do if you know you will be taking one cat to the vet.
- Make sure that the cat returning from the vet’s office is fully recovered from sedation or anesthesia before coming home.
- Keep other cats separated from the returning cat for at least 2 days. This may seem like overkill, but trust me, it works. This gives the returning cat time to lose any strange smells he may have picked up at the vet (especially if he had gas anesthesia, which cats can continue to exhale from their lungs for several hours after surgery), and give him time to settle back into a routine.
- If the returning cat will tolerate it, you can try bathing him before reintroducing him to the other cat(s). However, most cats don’t like to be bathed, so it may be more practical to just let the scents wear off on their own. Or you can try using unscented baby wipes (be sure they have zero fragrance added) to wipe him down.
- After bathing, rub something from the cat’s regular scent back on him, like a toy or blanket.
Wiser And More Prepared For Next Time
As luck would have it, about 4 months after our episode of Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome, Squirt also needed to have a tooth pulled. At first, I’ll admit, I freaked out a bit, especially since we had just gotten the household back to normal. But this time, I was ready. When Squirt came home, I kept the boys separated for 3 days, gradually reintroduced them on Day 4, and, thank goodness, everything was fine.
Cats are complex and territorial, and sometimes their behavior can be a bit perplexing. But when we make an effort to see the world through their eyes, it can help us understand what drives them, what they fear, and what we can do to help them overcome some of the challenges of living in our world.
For more valuable tips on how to reintroduce cats, check out this article from cat behavior expert Pam Johnson-Bennett.
Have your cats ever experienced Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome? If so, how did you handle it? Please share your story with us in the comments below!
Wow. I have never heard of this and I’m so sorry you had to experience it! I’ve had cats my whole life so I’m bound to experience this at some point, especially now that I have 3 cats. I’m glad I know what to do now and how to potentially avoid it!
I had never heard of this before either, at least not as an actual syndrome! I had seen the typical suspicious sniffing and avoidance before in my previous cats who had gone to the vet and come home, but never anything like this. It was crazy-scary, and hopefully something I hope to never have to witness again!
Good morning, we’re 12 hours into the reintegration process here and I’m so thankful to meet others of you that have walked the tender path. Thank you for your stories!
My cat Pearl had two kittens a year ago named Billi and Star, and I kept them. She raised them inseparably and nursed them both for up to 14 weeks. Star vanished in March and I tragically thought we’d never see her again, because on our island here, a neighbours cat was recently carried off by an owl and I was convinced something fatal had happened to her also. I couldn’t see any good reason for her to have voluntarily leave her happy home. Her mom was starting to get cranky with her before she disappeared but that seemed like a natural growing pain and I saw them tentatively curled up sleeping together one afternoon, so it wasn’t that bad or enough of a reason for her to take off.
Star came back last night! She’s been gone 7 weeks, is light as a feather and skinny, hungry, and healthy. She’s extremely happy to be in her familiar home and it shows. Pearl has been hiss-growling at her and curious. Billi is freaked out, tense and defensive. He hides from her. I thought to separate them all last night but b/c they were being quiet about the incident and they’d work it out. Pearl slept with me far longer than usual and seems to have made her point. I belong to her. Star is eating, sleeping and holding her ground without any provocation and knows how to keep a wide berth from her mother and brother who are acting so strange. We all wonder where the heck she’s been since March 25th!
Having read many of your helpful posts I’m watching them all three closely, relating to them as the individuals they’ve become. Once they were a mosh of fur and purring and I hope they become friends again through this weird transition that seems to have a direction towards some new sort of harmony. I’m keeping the faith that we’ll get there because the tension isn’t escalating, it’s decreasing. I’ll keep you posted. Wish us all luck!
Diane, and the others.
Hi Diane I can feel what you are going through. I have this continuing issue with my 2 girls. The last bad episode lasted for 6 weeks. It’s so draining. I find the reintroducing is the the hardest.
Karen
This happened to me. I have four cats, one being a maine coon. I took the maine coon to be groomed. Can you believe the SHAVED him??!!! Aside from my be furious, I took him home and one of my other cats became furious too!! I was beside myself. It broke my heart…and made me mad. For one week my maine coon was hissed at (by all the other cats, but worse by just the one) I knew it was going to change the relationships between them. It was a terrible experience. My vet explained just what this writer said. In the future, if one cat needs to go to the vet for something, I will take ALL of them with me (not to be seen by the vet but to just go along for the ride) that way, they all come back smelling like the vets office.
Oh boy… in the case of your Maine Coon, not only did he come back smelling differently, but he looked different too! Hopefully things will calm down after a bit and your cats’ relationships won’t be permanently affected. It can take up to several weeks for things to settle down, so hopefully they will be back to normal soon!
I’m experiencing this again now and am on day 10. My long haired sister cat was groomed (shaved for summer) at the vet, and despite me even taking her sister along for the ride, she’s still been violently attacking her for 10 days straight. I am separating them but accidents happen with doors not being shut properly. I took the aggressive one back to the vet today and was given some sedative to reduce anxiety and aggression. It’s not worked. I was meant to be going away for Christmas but can’t leave them together now.
This happened to my cats. I bought catnip spray and I sprayed them both down and they say to put a little bit of vanilla on the end of your finger and put it on each one of their nose is so that’s all they smell. Next time I go to the vet, I’m going to try it right away. Lol.
This happened to me this morning, and not after a major “outside” event like a vet visit. I have a shelter-adopted male I got one year before a shelter-adopted female. They were good pals from start. The female never went out, but in his first year, I let the neutered male out until he got sick, and I realized he needed to be indoor only. Well long story short as possible, this morning I gave in to some very insistent meowing and let the male outside again, with a collar. The female went to the door after him, as if curious where the male went. After about a half hour I went out for newspaper and the male came up to me, so I brought him back in. He ate breakfast while the female sniffed him all over. And then she attacked! He ran away and/or cowered. I now have them separated, and I’m hoping things get back to normal soon. But this just shows, non-recognition aggression can happen in a very short time frame. And no, no matter how he meows, the male is never going out again!
Yes, I’ve heard of this happening also! When the returning cat comes home, they also bring with them new smells that can set off other cats in the household. Cat behavior can be so tricky sometimes. :-/
Hopefully after the strange scents wear off of your male kitty, your female kitty will be back to being best buddies with him in no time. And I’m with you, I’d keep him in too! 🙂
I know this is an older thread…I’m dealing with this right now as well. Crazy enough the one who went outside was my human roommate who just happened to step and track in dog poop. My boys are litter mates and just over 2 years old, we’re on day 2 of separation, scent swapping and treats/food on opposite sides of the same door. This is a heartbreaking experience but glad to see it’s possible to happen and there’s hope since we’ve had no physical altercations. Just insane screaming/hissing/growling that was all supervised. They have such a special bond and love each other. Luckily they both purr and rub more on scent swapping items or one plays with it once the item is put down. Hopefully that and my one getting more comfortable to eat closer to the door is positive progress.
This was me with 2 litter mate brothers, it is heart breaking to hear them like this, you’re doing the right thing separating them, we had highs and lows after the incident for over a year…. When you do bring them together more (we did a baby gate in the hall way so they could see each other eventually but not get to each other because one would always chase the other) It is very difficult but the energy you give off plays into it, when I stayed calmer and talked to them about how they were brothers and knew each other (baby talk basically), I’d do joint play with a plastic straw sometimes as a distraction if I noticed tension. And eventually I just didn’t hover and stress as much and they seemed to feed off better energy. It is so difficult hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I was sure they would never be best friends again but they are..
I should also mention we did end up using Low dose gabapentin for a bit when they were at their worst, this allowed them to nap together and it would be good but at ground level when they were walking it would be a problem for months, our long apartment hallway reminded them of the “incident” (tail caught on one boy and he took off running, his brother thought they were playing and chased him… turned very bad and then went on for months.. horrible 🙁 they are no longer on gaba very happy about that but it did help the process. Hope you don’t need this and your situation is shorter
Thank you so much for this! Day 3 of separation and day 1 of no reintroduction attempt or visuals of each other. Still no actual physical fights between them. They’ve never spent this much time apart in their whole lives but I’ve finally stopped crying about it throughout the day. Which I know totally didn’t help but I’m working on it. lol. I wiped them both down with some wet washcloths today that they surprisingly loved, also put up some pheromone diffusers today that have made them super lovey with me. All per vet rec, and opening the door between them for feeding tomorrow morning but letting them be 10ft apart. To see how it goes. One of them is definitely ready to be reunited but he is predominantly the leader, if you will. His brother doesn’t care about much pretty standardly, though he’s the one that lost his mind but so great to hear there’s even hope if it takes a while. Honestly, their bond is my biggest concern. Definitely trying to go at their pace and baby gates are saved for later in my Amazon cart if the 10ft looks during breakfast don’t go well. I definitely need to get my energy in check for them, so thank you for reaffirming that as well. Those screams they can let out can be traumatizing!
The site won’t allow me to respond to your most recent comment, hoping this reply works—
I completely understand and cried all day everyday for weeks over this. I really felt hopeless and it was extremely trying the entire situation. I do think the visual during breakfast tomorrow is a good idea and if neither is charging at the other some hissing and yelling will hopefully pass. It’s so stressful I would dread every meal I had to do this with them and I was just so upset anytime I heard hissing even and I know I didn’t help the situation with that energy (so much easier said than done). It might take a little time but stay consistent with feeding them together (pending how tomorrow goes— I read the tips on this from Jackson galaxy in his book and on YouTube, also about creating a new special place they can nap together, I’d have blankets on the floor even as “safety pads” this sounds crazy but I swear the brother who felt like he wasn’t safe would look for them and get comfy on blankets and it would go better when he saw his brother walking towards him… this was the trigger time after time, the scared one would hiss at his brother out of fear and other brother didn’t like this and would escalate the fight..)
We Had the multicat Feliway too, I can’t say if it helped we went through phases of using it and not (takes a week to kick in) but overall I unfortunately didn’t find it did anything but some people definitely said it worked for either situation (I have read every comment on this post and basically any information available on the internet lol..)
I even tried taking them both to the vet together for a teeth cleaning, needed one anyway and they spent the night next to each other scared there, may have helped a bit. Luckily the incident happened in our apartment and we also moved earlier this year and that helped the situation (not a realistic answer to the problem for everyone of course…) I did hear from a friend this happened to that some “location changes” can help too, maybe goes back to what I said about the blankets earlier, some new places for them to sit together…
I am traumatized from my experience so I usually refuse to even say things are good with them out loud because I worry about jinxing it, but they are best brothers again.. I hope I can help you here because I’ve lived it and do not want any other cat mama to have to live this experience!!!! Sorry for the long rambling post and hopefully you don’t need most of the advice. Hoping tomorrow is better!
I’m having this problem right now. But, neither of mine went to the vet. My cats are basically indoor cats, with an occasional venture out on our deck. It started when they were both startled outside and came running through the door at the same time bumping into each. The sister (Coco) became uncontrollable, hissing, growling, arched back, hair on end and started chasing her brother (Mocha) all over the house, ending up behind my bed screaming and carrying on. I thought it was because she was startled and that she would get over it. That was 3 days ago. I’ve tried to keep them separated and each day let them see each other. The same thing happens all over again. Coco will not tolerated Mocha. Last night Coco (the aggressor) almost completely tore up our carpeting in the guest room! I’m at wits end.
Wow, how incredibly upsetting! It never ceases to amaze me how cats who have gotten along forever can have one incident that sets them off and then all hell breaks loose. 🙁 The only advice I can probably give is to prepare yourself for what might be a longer reintroduction than you hoped for. Since Coco is still reacting so strongly, and it’s only been a few days, if it were me I would try going back to square one and keeping them completely separated for 2-3 days with zero contact. Then very slowly let them smell each other under a door, or do some scent-swapping or room-swapping (put Mocha in a room for awhile, then take him out and let Coco go into the room so she can smell him but not see him). The key is to give them time to get over the trauma first, then get them desensitized to each other. If you can have any kind of interaction without Coco getting upset, go slowly to the next level, and if there is any strong negative reaction, go back to the previous step and try again.
This can be a long process that takes a lot of patience… the incident with my cats literally took over a month for them to be able to be together again 100% of the time, and even after that, it took a few more weeks until they stopped being periodically nervous around each other. But thankfully, after that they were completely back to normal! My best advice is to give your kitties time to forget their “incident”, go very slowly, be patient, and give them lots of love and reassurance (since cats can sense when we’re stressed and will mirror that behavior). When it comes to this type of temporary aggression, patience can really pay off in the end.
This is day 5. I’m doing all the things above, and even went to the vet and got some special food with tryptophan in it and a plug in scent that lets off cat pheromones. That was yesterday. We’ll see how things go today. They haven’t seen each other yet! I have rubbed Mocha with a sock and put it in Coco’s crate at night (along with some catnip). I have to crate her at night because she started ripping up the carpet in the spare bedroom. She has the run of the house during the day, while he hides behind my bed. At night, she is crated and he has the run of the house.
It sounds like you’re doing everything possible to set them up to succeed! Hopefully that, combined with time, patience, and letting them set the pace when it comes to reintegrating with each other, will have them back to being buddies again with no issues. I’m rooting for you, Coco and Mocha!! 🙂
I know this is a few years old but I’d like to know the outcome
To let u know…ours was a severe case and i personally suffered severe anxiety from it and the recovery process was huge. When we moved house our two saw another cat and then split from each other that very night. They were horrific. We couldn’t get them to tolerate each other at all over the course of a few hours….and we had to end up separating for 9 months!! We took off bedroom door and replaced with a screen door then covered it with b cardboard and slowly cut bit by bit the cardboard away until 4 months later all cardhoard was visible. Each day for that time we swapped them 3 x day so that they were in both spaces and could share scents. We then tried to let them play and eat togther but it took a further 3 months for our most anxious of the 2 to handle that (she was by now om prozac 5mg) By month 8 we were able to put them togthwe and played feather games with them for half hour 2 x day. Then by month 9 my husband decided to put them togther and they had several fairly mundane play fights and scuffles over about 2 hours (to gain heirarchy). None of these scuffles involved yowling or hair raised/ears flat. They were just hisses and deep scowls like hisses. Eventually one retreated from the scuffles and that told us that the ‘top dog’ amongst them had been determined. So then for another 2 months the occasional hiss may have occurred but no major fights. Now it is month 12 and they are back to best pals. I still have severe anxiety if i am concerned about taking to vet etc so when the vet visit was due i just decided to pay the extra to get them to come to my home. Anyway so yah…if anyone needs to know worst case scenario mine could possibly be it. By the way we had the feliway multicat and feliway standard plugged in throughout the house. Also we weaned the one on prozac off about 2 months ago and all is back to normal. So yes please feel free to ask me for help… i have literally slept and walked the reintegration journey for a very long period. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy but i am here to help anyone suffering xo my cats are my all. I would never give them up for anything. If i can get mine back togther so can u all.
WOW. What a nightmare, Natalie!! Yours makes the situation with my boys look like a romp in the park. 🙁 All I can say is that I have incredible respect and admiration for you not giving up on your kitties. Sadly, I know that many people would not have had the patience and determination to go through a reintegration process that lasted for 12 months. And using cardboard and gradually removing it bit by bit is a brilliant idea, I hadn’t thought of that one!
Thank you so much for sharing your success story, and for offering to help anyone going through a particularly difficult reintegration process. For people who have never been through this before, it can be extremely overwhelming, but knowing patience and consistency can finally pay off can give people the encouragement they need to keep trying! Thank you!! 🙂
You give me hope, Natalie! Do you think the prozac helped? My cat, the one who went to the vet and came back aggressive–the vet wanted to put her on prozac for her stress-caused UTIs. I am wondering if that would help with the non-recognition aggression.
HELP! I posted my story a moment ago in the general, but I am terrified and heartbroken so I am responding to your post. My Norwegian Forest cat went to the vet for a Lion cut and a vaccine. Before he left, Lion and Poo were the best of friends and have been for 3 years. When he came home Lion immediately sensed the difference and did not recognize him and acted out of fear with aggression. My babies are my kids. I have separated them into different rooms and are exchanging to keep a scent in each room either way. I have also gotten a pheromone spray and diffuser on order so to plug it in every room. The Vet mentioned giving them a medication, but it was not Prozac. It was some sort of mild pain killer which kinda makes me nervous. I am willing to do anything to keep my beloved babies from being separated because my fiancé does not see an alternative if we can’t get them to get along. (At first I was completely against the idea of drugging my cat.) But the thought of having one of my furry kids taken from me horrifies me and I am stressed out because of that. I tried reintroducing them yesterday (Poo went to the vet on Saturday and it’s only Wed) and it ended with the Norweigan Forest cat (Poo) hiding which is not in his nature and not wanting to come out. I’ve decided to keep them separated all the time until the pheromone product arrives and is actively working. But, there has to be a solution. This can’t be the end of their friendship. Poo’s mentality toward Lion was hey come comfort and hang out with me at first, but now after Lion acted out he wants nothing to do with him. Sadly, I don’t blame him but again there has to be a way. I’ve never had two cats that looked after each other the way these two do. Always had cats that get along but Poo and Lion are bed buddies. Just a few days ago they were laying together in a “melded furball”. Any support would be most welcome and I’m sorry for spilling all this, but I need an avenue to talk about what is hurting my heart more then anything else going on right now. Thanks!
Victoria.
I have the same problem now, how did the problem resolve? I took one of my boys to the Vet (without knowing about this syndrome, I only had 1 cat before) and now the other one hisses and growls at him, meanwhile the cat that came back from the vet does not know what is happening. We kept them separated the first night and will separate them again tonight, on my way back I will also buy one of the Feliway Friends scents that supposedly helps. They were exactly like your cats, slept together, washed each other and did everything together, I am heartbroken seeing Freddie go to his brother Bob to get comfort only to get greeted by hissing, growling and paws in the air.
Hi Andrei, after that first incident it took several weeks of keeping them separated and slowly reintroducing them, but it finally worked. I think because the escalation was so severe that it resulted in that vicious fight was why I had to go all the way back to square one. Now I have much better luck when one of them goes to the vet. When I bring home the one who went to the vet, I keep him quarantined for at least 24 hours and spend a lot of time petting him and putting my own scent onto him so the smells from the vet’s office have a chance to dissipate. This can take up to 3 or 4 days if he had any type of anesthesia or was at the vet’s longer than a quick exam. This has worked very well for us and we’ve gotten great results. When I let him back into the rest of the house, there may be a few hisses from the other one, but within a few hours they are back to being best friends. 🙂
This happened to me for a year. The best solution? Take them both to a cattery for a few days to a week in the same suite. They are away from their home territory and will be scared. This is the only thing that worked for my two
Jacqui, thank you for that suggestion! I wouldn’t have thought of that, glad it worked for your kitties!
I am having this problem too. I took my male cat to the groomer Ana as soon as I brought him back in the house my female cat scowled and attacked. I’m on day 2 and it’s not getting any better. I just put my female cat in my bedroom and closed the door so my male cat could eat in peace. He won’t even eat, he’s so scared. I’m severely anxious and I know it’s affecting them. I just feel so bad for my male cat because he didn’t do anything and he’s getting attacked. I got the feliaway and catnip but it hadn’t started to work yet. I’m so scared that my female cat will get even more angry about being kept in the bedroom. Oh, and I have foster kittens in my spare room that I still haven’t introduced to my two yet. I know I can’t do that now. Please, any advice is greatly appreciated.
It took about 6 weeks to resolve this issue. Lots of time and patience. We alternated rooms each day so they would get use to each other’s smell and also so one wouldn’t feel abandoned. After about a week we fed them with a baby gate between them. A week later we did supervised visits in the living room. Each got play time and then we all played with the same toy together. I’d one lashed out then the aggressor world go back into the bedroom for about an hour and then we try again. I have treats together and lots of petting. About 2 weeks later I could walk around the house without having to watch them closely. A week after that we would leave for 20-30 mins at a time and I would watch on a camera to make sure no fighting. Then at some point you just gave to trust them, which was really hard for me. By week 6 they slept in the house by themselves at night while we slept in our bedroom. Also the don’t let them see your anxious or they will feed off of that and get more worked up.
I’m currently going through this with my two 5 month old kittens. They’re litter mates, and they were bonded when I got them.
I recently had to take one to the emergency vet when she jumped off my bed and landed wrong. I didn’t see what happened, but I heard a thump, and then I heard a god awful screeching and then hissing. My other kitten went over to her sister to see whar happened and got hissed at. The one that was injured was fluffed out, eyes fully dilated and was laying on the floor.
I took her to the emergency vet, and left the other one at home with my husband.
We gone for only 2 hours.
When we got back her sister started acting as if she didn’t know her litter mate! I thought maybe she was upset that she couldn’t go, and would get over it. That night we put the one with the boo-boo in an xl dog cage, like the vet said. We have the cage in our bedroom. The upset one was loose in our room. She avoided/ignored the cage, but would do everything possible not to walk in front of the cage.
I’m on day 4, and I feel so anxious with all of this. On top of this I have 2 large dogs where one isn’t too thrilled about cats, but will stay locked in her kennel box. We’re also doing renovations so our other rooms are storage rooms with supplies or our belongings, so not very cat friendly rooms.
Our bedroom is huge, so there is a good amount of room, but keeping them completely separate so they can’t see each other just doesn’t seem like an option for me.
Today I cried because I want everything to go back to how it was, and I’m also blamming myself as the cause for all of this.
How do I fix this???
hi Camille! My cats are going through the same thing. I just wanted to know if they are close to being done with this process and I can test them alone. Short story: one went to the vet and they fought day one and two and we did your steps above. It’s been 10 days and today of the first day they haven’t been puffing up or running away scared. A little staring but not like in a trance before. Everyone including the dog is happily laying on their spots in the living room with no issues. They sniff each other throughout the day and then walk away. Are we almost healed yet?
Thanks!
We dealt with this a year ago and it was the most stressful time ever! Sounds like you are almost there. We were almost 10-14 days in when they liked each other again. They gradually got better, especially when they had something that distracts them. When I open our window they both love to run to it and sit and they would do that and almost forget they didn’t like each other and be close then snarl a little. Sounds like their is light at the end of the tunnel for you. As tough as it is patience is the key and your cats will be back to normal. Hang in there!
At what point and what steps did you take to start trusting them alone. I’m leaving in feb for a whole month so there will be days they will be alone for hours while my husband is working. Also leaving them in the living room to sleep alone. That was all normal with no issues prior to this incident for 6 years.
We had this issue with our cats a few months ago. Luckily all it took was to keep our girl in the bathroom overnight and have our boy sleep with us and they were fine in the morning! Now our boy had to have knee surgery and has to be contained for 8 weeks! We keep him in our spare bedroom (where there’s no furniture to jump on) and we put some of our blankets in here so he can start smelling normally again. However, we can’t bathe him and he has a cone on his head and is limping from the surgery and our girl won’t come within 5 or 6 feet of him without hissing at him! She even hisses at us if we’ve been petting him and she can smell him on our hands. They stay totally separate during the day and in the evening we try to give them an opportunity to get closer (leave the bedroom door open, give treats when our girl gets closer, give her food in close proximity to the spare bedroom, etc.) but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better and our boy is the least aggressive cat in the world. I think he just misses his best friend 🙁 I’m nervous because the cone can’t come off for over a week when the stitches come out and then we have 6 more weeks of having to keep him in that spare bedroom. I’m afraid by then that their relationship will be irreparable. Any advice?
Hi Andie! Yep, this is a tricky situation. Because your little guy is wearing the cone, not walking normally yet, and probably still feeling under the weather from his surgery, he’s not acting like himself – which unfortunately probably makes him pretty scary-looking to your little girl. 🙁
Since I’m not a feline behaviorist, I can only tell you what I would probably do if I were faced with this situation (keeping in mind, of course, that every cat is different, so you may just want to take it under advisement). Since your boy kitty will not look like himself for another few weeks, I would consider keeping them completely separate for awhile. Every time your girl kitty sees him (or is in close proximity), it just reinforces the fact that he is not himself, and that could be what’s upsetting her. Keeping them separated will give them both a chance to reset a bit. If you choose to try this, you can still do site-swapping – keeping them them from seeing each other, but rotating them in different areas of the house. This will give them the opportunity to smell each others’ scent without the added stress of actually seeing each other. Plus, it will get your boy kitty out into the rest of the house so he doesn’t get depressed from being confined to one space.
Once he is healed up and walking more normally, you’ll probably need to do a full reintroduction similar to what was discussed in the article, almost as if they were strangers. It may be better to go that route (taking as much time as they need) than to risk having them be so upset over the next few weeks that it really does permanently change their relationship. 🙁
Please let me know how it goes.. I’m wishing you the best of luck!!
I’m currently going through exactly this. My little Olaf had to get surgery to have a tumour removed and as soon as she came home, her sister from the same litter (Lulu) instantly started hissing, growling and spitting at her! I was heartbroken! I’m having to keep them apart because every time Lulu manages to slip back in the room (When visitors leave the door open or if she is sitting waiting outside the door to ambush me when I go to the loo) she makes a bee-line for Olaf and attacks her. They’ve always played happy and it’s horrible to see this now! This has really helped me figure out my next steps though so thanks so much!! Unfortunately Olaf is back at the vet next week to have her stitches removed so I imagine the same thing will happen again *sigh* give me strength!!
Hi Becca! I’m so glad some of these suggestions helped. Don’t give up, mine was a long process too, but the boys are back to being the best of friends with no relapses. It just took time and a LOT of patience! I’m hoping for the same with your kitties! 🙂
Great article – exactly what I need right now on Day 2 of Return From The Vet: The Spay. Thank you for the hints and tips. I like the sock petting as a way to swap scents.
You’re welcome Brianne, I hope it helps! Good luck!! 🙂
I am really hoping for some feedback because my cats are breaking my damn heart…
I have Demeter. She is susceptible to UTIs, and this recent one was caused by stress. Nothing in my house has changed, so I guessed that the stress-source was Cosmo, her “little” brother, who sometimes bullies her.
Demeter had to spend the night at the vet. When she came home, contrary to what the article says, she lunges at Cosmo and hauls after him, both of them screaming and slamming into each other. The vet said to separate them, so I kept Demeter in the guest room for a day.
Last night we tried reintroducing them (after scent exchanges during the day). The appeared fine. We let them out of the room and about 15 min. later they were back at it again.
Cosmo is now in the guest bedroom, I’m trying to get him used to her smell. Demeter is still high strung.
What else should I do? How long did this last for you all? I just want my family back together 🙁
How frustrating! Demeter’s reaction sounds like it might possibly be a case of displaced aggression (since she was the one who went to the vet and came back), but regardless of who started it, unfortunately you’re now dealing with the fallout. 🙁 I think one of the most important things to remember in these situations is to give it enough time to resolve. If you put them back together too soon and they’re not ready, it can undo whatever positive progress you’ve made. It’s tempting to want things to be back to normal quickly, but to do it right can sometimes take weeks (or months). If you’re prepared for a lengthy process and follow their cues, it’s more likely that the outcome will be successful. Patience is always a huge factor in these situations… so prepare for months, and hopefully it will only take weeks!!
Camille, thanks so much for the response. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I also don’t want Demeter to be stressed since that is what causes her UTIs. I will persevere!
You’re very welcome, Annie! I know it’s extremely overwhelming to be in the middle of this situation (I remember having numerous freak-outs wondering if life would ever be normal again), but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Some tunnels are just longer or shorter than others! Hang in there!! 🙂
So, a small update. Since my post, I’ve kept my cats separated, they are doing MUCH better, after a lot of cage therapy (keeping one in an animal crate, let the other walk around), treat time next to each other, and patience. I still don’t trust the little troublemakers by themselves, plus we were going on vacation, so I’ve kept them apart. They are still a little aggressive, but nowhere near that screaming and cat-fight they initially displayed.
Today, Demeter got another UTI, probably caused by stress. My vet thinks it is all behavioral. Demeter’s relationship to Cosmo, their separation, their sometimes aggression…So, she enlisted the help of a professional cat behaviorist at OSU vet medicine center, guess it is that bad!
I guess what I learned is that cats are very very picky and often you can’t see what’s going on beneath the surface. I did not know Demeter was so stressed out, I knew Cosmo picked on her but man, it really did affect her. She’s going back on Prozac, so hopefully that will mellow her out! I mean, where ever you have their food, how many litter boxes, location of litter boxes, safe sleeping places, amount of toys, fresh water, all of that matters, it’s like a damn chemical equation. But it does get better, I still have hope.
Hi Anne! How are your kitties doing now? You are so right in that cats can do a great job of masking what’s simmering underneath. They are also ultra-sensitive to the moods of the people and other pets around them. But even with all of that, I would never have it any other way! Such complicated, mysterious, complex creatures… part of why we love them so much!! 🙂
I’m also experiencing this for the first time. Yesterday, I took Quincy to the groomer to have two mats of fur shaved off. We were in the building all of 10 minutes. The vet’s office is also in the building. When I brought him home, our other cat, Magellan, started hissing and growing. It carried on all day yesterday. I let them stay apart yesterday during the day, then separated them overnight. This morning, I tried rubbing Quincy with a towel then took it to Magellan when I let him out of his room. He acted normal so I let him upstairs. They came within about a foot of each other (I was feeling hopeful!) when he hissed and took off for his high perch. Oh well…I guess I’ll swap rooms today and just keep trying. If I had know this was a possibility, I would’ve taken BOTH of them on the ride since it was a super quick appointment. Since I’m certain they didn’t put any chemicals on Quincy, I’m guessing he released his own “scared” scent and that’s what is upsetting his stay-at-home buddy. Just thought I’d share since that 10 minute visit has caused this issue for us!
Hi Lori! I’m very glad you shared your story, since it doesn’t necessarily take a prolonged vet visit or anesthesia to trigger this situation. The fear response in animals absolutely releases its own scent that can be quite strong, and when other animals detect it, it can actually cause them great stress, presumably because they believe there must be something close by that needs to be feared! Then they can redirect their own fear into an attack on other household members (including humans). Excellent points, thank you so much for sharing!
Pete was severely attacked by a fox or coyote. Its a miracle that he is alive. He is recovering, however an inner ear infection ( or possible permanent damage) leaves him a little unsteady. Plus he is shaved and has a huge scab almost ready to fall off. Pete is now in the house until he and Ci Ci are friends again. But, they will “talk” to each other through the screen door, a different meow than I have ever heard….. more like cooing. I let Pete out under close supervision. Ci Ci will allow him to follow, they stay about 2 feet away. They really WANT to be closer, but if they get into sniffing distance, Ci Ci will hiss and swat, and she was more fierceful when Pete went to drink from what was their shared water bowl. Pete may have permanent difficulties. This will be a challenge to get him back to his home in the barn. I do have hope….. yesterday Ci Ci came up to the screen door and dropped a mouse…. she sooooo wants her old Pete back.
Oooohhhh… this tears at my heart. <3 Although Pete definitely has some obstacles to overcome (not just recovering from his immediate injuries, but potentially suffering some permanent challenges going forward), it sounds like CiCi hasn't given up on him! Although his wobbliness may make him appear "different" for awhile, with time and patience hopefully it will just become the new normal for her and they will be back to being buddies soon. Or better yet, he makes a full recovery and can go back to his normal life!
I’m in the midst of it as we speak: Girlcat just came back from day surgery to remove an abscessed canine and her normally doting, wildly affectionate brother is behaving like a feral cobra. I’d never heard of this before and am alone in the house with them, so am going to have to improvise a second litterbox in order to keep them apart. The reasons for it are what is on the list – she’s visibly wobbly and still stoned, and I have no doubt she smells differently. Could this really damage their relationship permanently? That’s the part that’s terrifying me!!!!
Don’t worry! It will get better! Like all the other posters on here, I know how you feel. Keep them separated, there is no concrete timeline, let your guy cat calm down, let your lady cat recover. My vet originally told me to let them smell each other from under the door. A lot of others here advocate for the good old scent exchange technique. Or Feliway. Most importantly is patience, it may not be fixed overnight, and don’t force anything!
I wish so much I new about this or even thought it was something I needed to look up! I’m currently going through this exact issue… Kitten and adult cat 🙁 Kitten went in for his neuter and when he come home we just let him out of his travel cage I honestly didn’t know any better :(, Adult cat started hissing a growling, its been 24 hours and its still going on (hence me looking online and finding this post) Thank you so much for posting about this now time to implement the strat… wish me luck 🙁
Hi Amber! How are your kitties doing now? I hope you were able to have some luck with the reintroduction strategies… this can be such a challenging situation, I hope they are getting along better now!
Hay small update, they are so much better. Although Echo (kitten) has moments of biting Wookies neck and pulling out her fur. She is part persion and has stupid amounts of fur which needs daily brushing and now has 2 very noticeable bald patches this wasn’t a issue before the neuter and before the nonrec aggression I have no clue if its tied in with it but that’s the only thing holding them back now. Wookie will growl and get upset doesn’t fight or hurt him she end’s up running. And he just jumps on her and hold’s on with his claws and bites the fur around her neck and pulls it out this happens once to twice a day 🙁 He does stop when we stand up and say no. 🙁
We are going through this right now. We just relocated back home from overseas with our two cats. They are desert kitties from the middle East. They took to my parents dog and all has been well till last night when the neighbors cat jumped onto the windows I’ll and scared my boy cat. He in turn went nuts and bit his sister and went to attack the dog. I have kept the separated since then. He is in the basement with his food, water and litter. He has furniture to sleep on and my son for company. His sister though hisses Everytime she goes near the door. She was confused and so upset that he turned on her. They handled the stress if international travel so well that I cannot stand the thought that this incident can ruin everything. Based on what I’ve read from previous posts I will keep them separated but tomorrow I will keep her in a room with her things and let him roam about the house. I will also use the sock trick and get new toys for them. Is there anything else I can do? Thank you for your help! P.s boy kitty won’t stop crying to come out.
Hi Hillary! I’m very sorry for the delayed response to your question, as I had a family emergency and was unable to respond until now. That definitely sounds like a classic case of redirected aggression (when something scares them and unfortunately they end up taking it out on another family member). How are the kitties doing now? It sounds like your plan was solid, hopefully they are getting along much better!
Thank you for answering back! They are still separated. I visited my vet and his suggestion was rehoming or euthenasia. He was concerned because I have an infant and children in the house. For now I will keep doing what I am doing. I really miss having them out together. It’s very stressful listening to the crying but I cannot put one too sleep. I love them both so much.
Oh my goodness yes, please don’t give up on them! I would never recommend euthanasia for something like this, it often takes time (sometimes many months) for cats to settle in from a move (especially an overseas move), and adding a traumatic incident like what happened to your kitties so soon after they got here would only add to the stress they were probably already feeling. They’ve been through some big changes and definitely deserve the chance to adjust and find their footing! Have you been able to continue to do site-swapping with them, where they take turns with who has access to the main part of the house?
I can only imagine how stressful this must be for you too, especially with having children and an infant – I can’t imagine. 🙁 But I hope you will keep trying with your kitties, time will definitely be your best ally in this situation and I’m hoping that things will slowly start improving and they will be back to being friends again very soon. Please keep me posted, and good luck!!
I swap them every 8 hours or so. Pandora, the girl, sleeps w us so she stays in our room from 10pm till around noon. Then panda, the boy, is put onto our room. We have two windows they can lay in plus toys. My two older boys come in and play with them during their time in the bedroom. It is rough but I am willing to put in the work. I love them both so much.
I have two cats, a male and female. Two days ago i had the female spayed and i let her stay overnight at the vet. When i brought her home, she immediatly ran to the male and he was terrified! He puffed up and ran away. Since then he has been staying away from her, whenever she would go near him, he would hiss and growl and she would just stare at him then continue her buisness (thankfully my male cat is the scardiest cat ever and would never attack another cat, he is easily frightened… he is almost 1 year and a half old while she is 4 months old). Today i put the female in a room and closed it so that the male can use the litter and eat (they share the box and bowls) since for the whole day he hasnt been eating but just the sound of her meowing from the other room was enough to scare him off. I have never heard of this syndrome and now understand whats going on.
Hi Amna, I had never heard of it before either, so I definitely know how you feel! Time and consistency will be your best strategy. There will be good days and not-so-good days, but the better days should start outnumbering the more stressful ones as time goes on. Good luck!!
This is happening to me, my older cat is hissing and swatting at both me and the kitten. I had the kitten at the vet to be neutered and when I came back my older cat is howling and hissing. I have had him in the bathroom with a Feliway diffuser and a litter box, food etc. But he won’t let me touch him or even come too close to him. I’m praying that this situation doesn’t last.
I am SO GLAD I found this site. Now I know I am not alone! My cat Frank (9 years old) had to go in for emergency surgery over the Labor Day weekend. He ate a cassette tape. Thank goodness he is okay but he had 14 stitches on his belly so had to be isolated from my other two cats for 15 days (JJ is 10 yrs old and Spencer is our new kitten, 6 mos old.). I let the other cats in the bedroom supervised for short visits while Frank was recovering. In hindsight, this was probably not a good idea, though there wasn’t any fighting – just a little hissing from JJ (Spencer loves them both, so no problems with her at all). Frank got his stitches out last week and I took a shot at reintroduction right away. At first JJ was tolerant, but not for long. Last night was their worst fight yet – JJ charged Frank and they were locked in a death grip with snarling, clawing, etc. I almost couldn’t get them apart, but I finally did and isolated both of them immediately. All three of us were injured – I have a large cut on my foot and both of the kitties have scratch and bite marks. I was in tears after this happened. My heart was literally breaking. JJ was 1 year old when we got Frank. Frank was abandoned and only 5 weeks old when I adopted him. JJ practically raised him and they have been best buds forever. Now, JJ can’t stand the sight of Frank and I know Frank is wondering why his big brother is attacking him all of the sudden!
After reading everyone’s posts, I realize that I did everything wrong. I also should have realized that there had been two major household disruptions in a matter of 3 months (new kitten, Frank’s surgery). JJ was left with Spencer while most of my attention was on Frank for those 15 days so they have bonded pretty closely. JJ is now very, very protective of Spencer and if Frank even gets close, it sets JJ off. I have now isolated Frank in my room with litter/water/food. I am going to start over VERY slowly. I have Feliway plugged in every room and also have a Feliway spray. I am going to follow the advice of total isolation for probably 2 weeks. I really like the idea of having a gate or something in the doorway so the cats can eventually see each other but not get at each other physically. I also have been neglecting JJ and not giving him as much attention as I should. This is changing today. I am going to schedule play time with all three every day. Hopefully we can all work this out eventually. There is no way I am going to give up on my little furballs!! I love them so much!!
One last thing – is there something I need to be doing differently with Spencer? Should all 3 cats be isolated from each other? Spencer gets along with both JJ and Frank. I was thinking about having her in Frank’s room for a supervised visit and then putting her back out with JJ. Perhaps JJ will smell Frank’s scent on Spencer and start getting used to it? Any help is greatly appreciated. You guys have already given me some great advice!!
I tried to post earlier today and it didn’t show up, so I apologize if it shows up later and this is a duplicate…
I have 3 cats: JJ is 10 yrs old, Frank is 9, and Spencer is 6 months. JJ practically raised Frank. He was 1 year old when I adopted Frank who was abandoned at 5 months old. They have been the best of friends. Now, JJ can’t even look at Frank without attacking and it’s breaking my heart.
Some background: I have encountered non-recognition aggression before after vet visits, but it resolved itself in a matter of hours. This recent experience is much more serious. Frank had to have emergency surgery over Labor Day weekend (he ate a cassette tape). Thank goodness he was okay, but he had 14 stitches in his tummy and had to be isolated when he came home. He had the cone and the stitches and a different smell I’m sure, so I isolated him for several days. The other two cats were curious what was in the bedroom so I allowed short supervised visits which resulted in a few hisses, but no fighting. They would all 3 lay on the bed and relax and eat treats together. Frank’s stitches came out 15 days after surgery and I kept him isolated that day and night, but decided to reintroduce the next day (big mistake). JJ acted increasingly hostile toward Frank. He started stalking him from room to room, but kept his distance. They appeared to all be doing okay so I left them alone for 1 hour (about a week after the stitches came out). I came home to pieces of fur everywhere, pee on the floor and coffee table (as well as some poop), and three very unhappy cats. I felt so bad! How could I have been so stupid! I have isolated since then, allowing short supervised visits outside the bedroom for Frank. I can tell he wants to go to his brother, and looks so hurt when JJ hisses. Last night I couldn’t get to them in time and it was the worst fight yet. They were locked in a death grip, screaming, howling, hissing. I finally got them apart, but not before all 3 of us were injured. I was in tears, heart breaking!!! I isolated them both so they could calm down and I could stop crying. I came upon this site last night after the incident and was so glad to know I wasn’t alone. I see now that I did everything wrong – causing my boys to hurt each other.
I have taken the advice from this posting. I am isolating Frank completely for at least a week. Spencer, the kitten, is scared when the fighting happens but when she is one on one with either of the boys she is playful and loving. Right now, I have JJ and Spencer together and Frank isolated. I really liked the idea of a gate or screen later on so they can see each other but not get at each other physically. I have Feliway diffusers in all rooms as well as Feliway spray. Frank has his own litter box, food, water and toys.
Frank looks so depressed being by himself. This is actually my bedroom so he isn’t alone at night, but he looks so depressed when I leave the room! I am supposed to go on vacation in 3 weeks and hate the idea of isolating him for 6 days straight (I have a sitter coming by each day, but it’s not the same as me being there). My family has had this vacation planned for almost a year so I would hate to back out.
Will I do irreparable damage if I leave for vacation in the middle of this crisis? Should I allow the kitten to visit Frank in the room before I start to reintroduce Frank to JJ? Do you have any advice on my situation? I know I will need to be patient and I know this may take months. I also realize that there were actually TWO disruptions in the household in the last 3 months (new kitten, Frank’s surgery). But I am willing to do anything to get our little family back in order. I love all of them so much!!! Thank you for any advice you can give.
A week ago I took Willow to the vet as I had noticed her abdomen was quite distended. Unfortunately, she has been diagnosed with a large tumor on her liver that inoperable. When I brought her home to spoil her for as long as possible, her sister Violette, began hissing. This has been going on pretty much whenever their paths cross…and isn’t improving. No violence, just hissing. Poor Willow is I’m sure feeling ill from the tumor and now this! Do you think Violette has an idea of what is going on with Willow and is distancing herself?
This also happens with my cats when one goes to the vet because you bring your cat back with a different smell on it from other cats and odors that she’s not familiar with this happened to one of my cats and he wouldn’t have anything to do with my kitten from then on.
This happened with my two, 18 year old 1/2 Himalayan litter-mates. She started to hiss and swat at him for seemingly no reason. This went on for some times until I took him to the vet and found out that he had a inoperable terminal tumor. I brought him home and had a talk with his sister telling her all about his condition, that he didn’t have much time left and we needed to be extra sweet with our Dooder and take special loving care of him. She did just that until the day he died.
I’m going through this right now. We’ve had our kittens since they were 2 weeks old (turned into a “foster fail”). They’re about 6 months old now, and always playing and snuggling, best friends. I had Rosie spayed about a month ago and yesterday Marvin was neutered. When I got home with him, Rosie freaked out and started hissing, growling, and lashing out at him. Poor Marvin just wanted to play with her but she was being extremely hostile. I kept Rosie in a separate room overnight and I felt terrible because she was crying and wanted to be out with me. This morning I opened the door and when she saw Marvin, the hostile behavior started again. They’re separated while I’m at work and I’m sure Rosie is crying. It’s heartbreaking because they were inseparable and now they can’t be in the same room, plus it’s stressful for me because whichever cat is alone at any time is very upset. I’m going to try feliway and slowly reintroduce them but I know it won’t be easy. I just hope they can be friends again soon.
This article gives me such hope! This is exactly what’s happening between my litter sisters, right down to the horrible noises, the chase, the fur flying, and the pee everywhere. We’re working on them little by little, right now they can look at each other through a crack in the door without hissing. It’s been almost 2 weeks since this began. The fact that it took Trouble and Squirt 3 weeks is so reassuring – it means my kitties still have a chance to make up. Thank you so so much for writing this article! No other article on cat aggression helped me 100%, but this one sure did!
Thanks so much, Heidi! I’m so glad the article was helpful. Good luck with your girls, time is your ally in cases like these!
I’m going through this now. I have 2 cats. They have been together for 3 years. Anna had dental work done 4 weeks ago and Bristol started attacking her as soon as she got home. I tried just about everything to get them back to their old kitties but they are still not back together. They can be in the same room, Anna usually stays in the top of the cat treehouse. When she comes down, Bristol will usually chase her. But very little growling. It’s better than it was, but Anna is still scared to move around too much.
Any other suggestions or will it just take more time?
I wish my vet would have prepared me so I could have prepared my home. So you’re aware, I’m experiencing this as I write. I have a 1 bedroom apartment. With much difficulty, I’m alternating Chloe (in healing) in the living & bedrooms so she gets to alternately enjoy the living room where there’s a terrace & brighter light. The bathroom is where I have to put Miso (the aggressor) while Chloe gets to enjoy more freedom other than just the healing (bed) room. I’ve been wiping Chloe down with unscented baby wipes. After doing that several times, I began wiping Miso down with the same wipes. I thought exchanging scents may help. This will probably begin again in 4 days, when her stitches come out, but this time I’ll be more prepared. What a mess!
Hi Leslie…yes, it can be SO frustrating. 🙁 And I was surprised to find out that unfortunately many vets aren’t aware of how serious and common an issue this is, most likely because people tend to just deal with it on their own and don’t really mention it to their vets. I know that’s how I handled it initially, but then told my vet about it afterwards (when things were back to normal), and he was really surprised. You definitely have a bigger challenge being in a smaller space, but just be patient and give your kitties time to become acclimated again. The trick is not to rush it and not to give up! Hopefully they are doing better now!
Thank you so much for your response. Chloe got her stitches out 4 days ago & I’m back to step one. Would you know if any of the sprays or diffusers work?
Hi Leslie, so sorry for the delayed response, your follow-up comment went into my spam filter and I just now saw it! :-/ I know it’s been a few weeks, so this reply may be too late, but I did seem to have pretty good luck with the diffusers with my guys. I used them in common areas (like where I feed them) as well as in the spaces where I was confining them. I got confirmation that the cats definitely noticed the scent when one day I saw Trouble happily rubbing his face all over the curtains that were hanging right next to one of the diffusers. Since their initial fiasco, I’ve moved into a new house, and I used the diffusers there as well to help them adjust to their new home… and they did great. Hope yours are doing better now too!!
I’m going through this now. We have house cats that we let out in the garden on long leads – usually no problem but the smallest picked up a scent and all hell broke looss!! This happened a few years ago when one escaped and it took two weeks before they would tolerate each other but even though i know they sorted it out before i can’t help but worry this is a permanent thing! i washed them (you can imagine how that went), plugged in the feliway and got the spray, we’ve been keeping them seperated so they can’t see each other and room swapping every few hours / overnight and i’m hoping they will get used to their smells again. I’m planning on letting them see each other in a few days time so fingers crossed. I am so sad and stressed out!They’re my babies and it’s horrible to see them like this with each other. Any more tips much appreciated!!!! Should i room swap less often??? Total mare!!!
Hi Caroline, sorry to hear about your kitties! 🙁 Yes, this scenario is soooo stressful. In my opinion and based on my experiences, you can probably get away with room swapping once or twice during the day and again overnight, you probably don’t need to do it every few hours. And whenever you do let them spend time together, make sure you have lots of treats (or food) that you know they love (for cats, the smellier the food, the better). With cats, sometimes good food covers over a multitude of challenges! Good luck, and please let me know how it goes!!
Great article and what I needed to read right now. We have two male Persian cats that were best of friends. Yesterday we had them both groomed and now our older male (Jack) is attacking our younger guy(Greyson). It seems worse when I’m near Greyson, almost like Jackson seems to want to protect me. We also have a 3 month old so we do r want anyone in danger. Right now we have Jack (the aggressor) in the bathroom with a tall baby gate and his own food and litter. They have seen each other thru the gate and have not hissed. But I’m afraid to try to reintroduce anyone right now. It’s so upsetting to see and we didn’t expect this at all. It’s a mobile groomer and it was very quick for them both but obviously it has changed the dynamic. I’m just praying they resolve it.
Wow, it’s so interesting hearing from everyone what triggered their cats’ aggression…things that I would have never expected! Hopefully your kitties are calming down after this experience and are on their way back to being best buddies again.
About 18 months ago this happened to us. When we first brought our cat, Tabitha into our home almost 12 years ago our other cat Misty would attack her as soon as look at her. But after about three weeks they became best friends. But in June or July 2017 something happened that changed Misty. We have no idea what it was, even to this day. One night, around 2 am-ish, I awoke to bloodcurdling howls and hisses. I raced downstairs to find Misty chasing Tabitha and attacking her. She actually drew blood on her. I had to trap her with a laundry basket as she turned it on me when I tried to catch her. I had to separate them and then try and coax a hissing, terrified tabby cat (Tabitha) from under a computer table. We tried keeping them separate for days and then reintroduce them, and it seemed to be working. Then a week or so later misty attacked again. They’ve been separated ever since. I have tried letting them see each other but not get to each other and misty just loses her s**t at Tabitha. Poor Tabitha is now petrified of other cats and will run in terror from a kitten. We love both our kitties dearly and don’t want to lose either one, but I’m at my wits end over it. We can’t even try to reintroduce them now because Tabitha hisses then runs and hides. It is heartbreaking as we simply don’t know what to do about it. We even thought Misty may have feline dementia and have seen a vet, but nobody wants to believe us or even run tests.
Hi Nicole, I’m so sorry to hear about what’s happening with your kitties. My first thought, knowing how old both kitties are, was that there might be something health-wise going on with Misty? I know you said you’ve seen a vet, but did they do a full exam on her to rule out pain being a possible cause? Oftentimes older kitties can experience pain from arthritis, so a quick full-body x-ray could help rule that out (since arthritic changes usually show up on x-rays). And it’s also possible that, as you mentioned, Misty could be experiencing the onset of dementia. If the first vet didn’t believe you, hopefully you can find another vet for a second opinion – perhaps one who has more experience with older cats. Hopefully you have several more years ahead of you with both Misty and Tabitha, so if there’s something medical causing the issue with Misty, maybe it can be corrected! Good luck, please let me know what happens!
I know my post may be 2 years late but I’m here reading your post for anything that can help my current situation. I have 2 indoor cats; Meffy 8 and Meimey 6. One unfortunate day, a stray cat somehow managed to enter my house. I have taken both to the vet for a checkup. Only Meimey had a ripped out toenail which would heal.
Now both of them don’t know each other. Meffy would attack Meimey and they’ll end up in a terrifying brawl. I have separated them since March 26, letting them take turns to roam the house. Tried reintroducing again but they still hiss at each other until today. They can eat next to the door but no more than that.
Meimey is least aggressive and usually would run rather than fight. But I’m afraid to let Meffy out at the same time after that scary high-speed lunge attack. She almost did so again today when I tried to let them out.
Did I do anything wrong? Is 2 weeks still too early? Some of you only needed 5 days.
Hi SueAnn, I’m sorry to hear about what’s going on with your kitties. The scenario you’re describing (with the stray cat getting into the house) is more common than you might think! It even happened to a co-worker of mine, and he also had the same resulting experience that you’re having now.
No, I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all…on the contrary, it sounds like you’re doing just what I would have recommended. The challenge with this situation is that every experience is different. My boys needed a full month before I could trust them to be together again in the same room, and they are biological brothers from the same litter. Some people are able to have the cats back together in a week. The important thing to remember is that patience WILL eventually pay off, so please don’t get discouraged! The trick is to watch them very carefully and observe that fine line when it seems like they’re starting to get overwhelmed with each other. One cat may be ready to resume the relationship, but the other may not. They may only be able to spend 5 minutes together at first, so when you see one (or both) cats starting to look agitated, separate them calmly and then try to spend some one-on-one playtime with each of them to help dispel that nervous energy and make them feel more confident. The important thing is not to rush it.
This situation can be 100% resolved, so keep trying! And please keep me posted on how things go. Good luck!!
Thanks so much for replying.
Well, I’m going into week 4 now because of a mistake sometime this week and they fought again. I thought they were okay but they really weren’t. So I have restart for the 3rd time. This time I will really do it slowly.
I really miss having my cats playing around the house.
Yes, slowly is best…don’t worry, it may take some time, but they will get there. It will just have to be on their timeline!
Im dealing with non recognition aggression after a vet visit, and i tried to correct the kittens scent before bringing her into my room. But I rent a room and don’t have my own bathroom, or a separate space I can keep one in, is there anything I can do to help reintroduce them without separating them? I have no where I can keep the second cat without inconveniencing the other people I live with, and they aren’t okay with that. I’m so anxious about this, because I can’t give one up, they’re both my babies.
Hi Grace! I’m so sorry for the delay in response… how are your kitties doing now? This would definitely be a tricky situation with no separate room to keep the cats in. Please let me know how things are going currently.. I will look for your response and get back with you ASAP!
Hi. We have 3 cats, Charlotte, Sally and Fred. They’ve all lived with us for over 3 years. Sally and Fred are younger and play together all the time. Awhile back Fred stayed overnight at the vet and Sally exhibited what I believe was this non recognition agression. No actual fights but she hissed and growled at him. After a month, things went back to normal. 2 days ago Sally got out and was out overnight. When she came back in the next morning, she was very worked up. She’s fine with Charlotte, but she’s acting exactly the same with Fred as she did when he came home from the vet. This makes less sense to me since nothing happened overnight to change Fred’s scent. We have a lot of outside cats on our street and I don’t know if she had any run ins (she doesn’t look injured at all). She was a stray before we adopted her. Could she really not recognize Fred’s scent after she was out overnight and Fred stayed home? I’m perplexed. It would be difficult to separate them and I didn’t last time. It’s not getting physical at all. Poor Fred backs off. I’m hoping it goes back to normal again. Just wondering if you or anyone has insight into this specific situation. Thanks.
Okay, I’m dealing with this now after the same issue. Cheddar needed a tooth pulled because it broke. He urinated in his carrier on the way home and I had to bathe him. Our tabbies Sniff and Toby were mooing at him and yowling and hissing. Poor Cheddar is so confused. They kept us up all night with yowling at him and my husband got maybe an hour of sleep.
I’ve tried rubbing each of their heads and transferring scents, I’ve tried to whole putting tuna juice on them so they groom themselves and smell more like themselves. Now the house smells like tuna and the tabbies are still being assh*les to Cheddar.
I have to go out of town on Friday for two weeks and I really want to figure out something I can do to fix this because I don’t want to leave my husband with this mess. Plus we don’t want to leave Cheddar alone when my husband is at work.
I’m stressed out and tired, I have two cats that are trying to attack the one that is still whacked out on pain pills. I just don’t know what to do. I wish I had some feliway but we live in the Alaskan bush, everything has to be ordered online. I’m just out of ideas and desperate. Please let me know of anything that you’ve found to have worked for you so I can try it. Thanks.
Hi Lisa, my sincere apologies for the delayed response! How are things between Sally and Fred now? The situation you’re describing that happened after Sally got out sounds less like the original non-recognition aggression that she experienced after Fred’s trip to the vet, and more like something called “displaced” or “redirected” aggression. Displaced aggression happens when one cat has a frightening or stressful experience that causes them to be overstimulated, and they redirect their aggression onto whoever happens to be closest. This happens in cats quite frequently; they can redirect aggression onto the family dog, a human family member, or most commonly, another cat in the household. Poor Fred just may be Sally’s victim of choice. 🙁
You mentioned you had a lot of community and outdoor cats in your neighborhood – this can actually be very stressful for cats in the household since cats are so territorial. To keep Sally’s stress level low (and to lower the risk of her lashing out at Fred), anything you can do to keep those cats off your property and prevent her from seeing or smelling them would definitely help! The easiest way to do this is with a few humane wildlife deterrents set up on the perimeter of your property. These are motion-activated and deliver a spray of either water or air to scare the animals into staying away, and they are extremely effective. Also, try to keep garbage locked away, and never leave food outside. Hopefully, by keeping any outside stressors away from Sally, she will be much less likely to take out her fear or aggression onto poor Fred.
I hope this helps, and please let me know how it’s going!
Hi. Thank you and sorry for missing your response. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. My mom passed in Sept, and I had been living with her and was her caregiver and we are now selling my home. When we have showings, I need to get the cats out. Sometimes garage, sometimes carriers in my car, sometimes some one place some other. Its stressful for me and them. Sally hasn’t ever really gotten completely back to normal. Sometimes she’s okay with Fred and sometimes hostile. Fred usually backs off and there haven’t been any brutal fights, but it makes me sad that she doesn’t act like she used to. She used to be the most social towards other cats and that’s changed. She’s still super lovey to me. It seems like it is her response to stress. Once I’m settled somewhere else I hope I can deal with things better. Thank you for your help.
I’m currently going through this for the second time, but this time just seems hopeless. It’s been a week since my cat Thea came back from the vets. Her sister Bonnie is super sensitive and didn’t just become incredibly aggressive towards Thea but also became aggressive towards their sister Jet too. So not only has Thea been rejected by both of them, they have also become aggressive with each other. I’m having to keep them all separate. I’ve allowed Jet and Thea to have some contact, and while the aggression isn’t severe, Jet is still spitting at her. Bonnie has been kept away from both, she only needs to hear them in another room or smell them on me to become upset. I just know she’ll lose her little mind if she sees them.
The first time this happened was last year when Thea went to be spayed. When she came home Bonnie became incredibly aggressive (towards her and towards Jet even though Jet had stayed home) and needed to be separated. However on that occasion Thea and Jet remained friends which I think helped somewhat with scent exchange, making Thea smell like home. A week later both Bonnie and Jet went to be spayed and upon coming home, the relationships were intact again. I couldn’t believe me luck.
However this time, I just don’t know how to make it better. I can only hope that Jet accepts Thea again soon so I can slowly start reintroducing Bonnie. I’m so very scared that I may lose one or more of my cats to this though.
We have two bengals Chuy & Zorro. They have been together since birth 9 years ago. My husband & I were waken in the middle of the night to a cat fight between a feral & Chuy with the glass door separating them & Zorro behind Chuy. When I came into the room & turned on the light the feral ran, then Chuy turned around & saw Zorro & the fight continued. With great struggle I was able to separate them. Chuy wanted nothing to do with Zorro, but I was able to reunite them later the next day. But that evening the feral came back. I had the blinds on the door closed, but Zorro got a smell of the feral & freaked. Now every time Zorro sees Chuy he starts growling & hissing. I have been able to reintroduce them to each other but as soon as they are separated from each other when Zorro sees Chuy again the growling & hiss starts again. For example yesterday they were reintroduced got a scent of each other all was right with the world. They slept together all night & were very happy. But this morning Chuy left Zorro’s side then went back to him, as soon as Zorro saw him walking down the hallway towards Zorro, Zorro went back to growling & hissing. Again later today I got them back together, then when Chuy left the room & came back later the growling & hissing & back under the bed again.
I have bought the motion sensor spray & placed them to try to keep the feral away. I’m also spraying a no mark spray around the bushes as well.
Marci I realize this message comes over 2 years after but I have two part bengals now separated for 4 days and I am heartbroken. They were best best buddies and brothers until one got a tail caught under a chair and the other chased him. A brawl ensured and 3 following. We now have them separated terrified to reintroduce. They seem to miss each other. Did you situation resolve?? We are so heartbroken over Cheetos and peanut
Further to my above post, Jet and Thea are best friends again but 4 weeks on Bonnie is still suffering from N-RA. I could really do with advice on how to reintroduce her. I don’t know whether to introduce her to one cat at a time or to Jet and Thea together. All the advice seems to be for reintroducing one cat to another. I’ve tried feeding them so they can all see each other, and they all eat without fuss but when encountering each other without food and Bonnie just becomes incredibly upset. I have bought a mesh pet door but I’m unsure how to go about using it – how long to expose them to each other for etc etc…. Any advice would be incredibly welcome.
Aw hon it’s horrible when this happens isnt it! (Happened with mine twice now!)
We:
* scented a bunch if socks each day with the cats and us and rubbed it all over the other one
* Swapped ours continually around in different rooms
* introduced food behind closed doors
* food with a crack in the door
* bigger crack
* played with them at same time through door cracks
* played with them at same time in open space, rewarding and removing as soon d any stress
* food in open space
* feliway plugin spray
* extra love especially to the nervous one
Took about 4 weeks the second time to have them tolerate each other and then n extra 3 I reckon before they would cuddle up together every no and again like they used too but theyre fine now.
Make sure the nervy aggresive one has safe place to go to when it feel stressed.
Hope that helps a little! Such stressful time when we see our cat babies like it isnt it! Keeping my.fingers crossed for you!
It’s a massive step they’ll even eat together, so you’re nearly there xxx
So we have 2 kittens and one had to have surgery and was in vet ER for one might and is on medicine for 5-7 days. We unfortunately the day we brought her home had to bring the other in for possible UTI. We did not get to immediately separate them and have been home for a day and growl and hiss when near each other. We just separated them and are beginning the slow process of getting the scents swapped and switching rooms for a period of time. Even though we did not immediately separate them will it be ok since now when they see each other they think to hiss? Any feedback is much appreciated
Yes
…I didnt separate ours straight away the first time either. Patience is the thing with this
….I was heartbroken that my babies were at each others throats but it does get better over time….its alot of work mind you….I swapped mine cats about 4 times a day!
Good luck x
Would you say it’s smart to gradually let them see each other until they hiss then isolate them again or just wait 2-3 days with no visual of each other and just swapping scents?
It’s my second time and I would say swap scents for a few days then start feeding them both at same time on either side of a closed door, then gradually over a few meald start to let them see each other too..if they go ape shit then go back a step…..depends how bad it is…..they are going to hiss I expect until they get proper happy with each others smells again…..full on evil kind of stalking fighting….go back a step.
When happy with seeing each other and eating then I’d play with them at same time in view of each other for short periods…
Lots of praise and cuddles.
The one creating the most Is probably the most scared one.
For mine this second time…the beginning but took a full on week and abit…then it moved quite quickly.
It will likely happen again from now on so before vet visits have them both lay on a few towels/blankets for a week or two so its covered in scent and rub the hell out of them when they get back and take em both together wherever possible
X
After a week my 2 cats can now be in the same room after 1 had surgery. They will walk around and not mind each other and get close sometimes but then one of them will realize they are close and then hiss. We gently distract them when that happens. Is that something that over time will stop. They don’t hiss as soon as they see each other just as they get close. Is scent swapping useful at this stage ?
I would say yes, cats primarily recognise each other by scent so theyre possibly hissing up close cus they’re nit recognising each other properly still. Certainly wouldn’t do any harm. All sounds very positive though…carry on doing what you’re doing 😁
Thank you! This last week has stressed us out so much! I was using the sock to rub one then the other and she hissed at the sock but I guess little by little they will grow accustomed to it! Just wanted to make sure not doing any harm or setting them back. They used to not even be able to look at each other
It’s awful isnt it! My one would hiss and growl at my hand if I’d stroked the other one with it….but was fine with the other hand….they’re best buddies again now though so keep persevering 😁 let me know how it all works out!
I have two 15 year old cats. One went to the vet. When I brought Tarzan home, Frankie was howling, screeching growing and hissing. It is day 4. It is not as intense but still I can not have them together. Keeping them in two separate areas at all times. I wrap Frankie in a big towel to take him out to the court yard where he like to go to the bathroom. He is still hissing as I pass by Tarzan. My sister said I should get a cat calming collar for Frankie. I looked on amazon and they have like this. I wish the vet would have warned me. The assistant did tell me my cat was so scared he went to the bathroom both ways in his carrier which probably took away his normal smell. I saw Madonna smell under his tail and he growled and hissed and I got them separated. Very sad and a lot of work to keep the separation, still give attention to each and outdoor time separately.
Wow, I feel like I am reading my own story when I read the post about the Maine Coon, except that my fiancé is threatening to get rid of one of my cats if the aggression does not subside. Our beloved Norwegian Forest cat was also shaved. Prior to the shave, he had long silky hair that definitely had it’s own unique scent. Once shaved he does not look or smell the same. My beloved Lion is a treasure to me and does not deserve to be put down because he is acting out of fear and not recognizing the other one. It’s infuriating and absolutely heartbreaking that they can’t be around each other and that they were the best of friends until he went to the vet. I am angry with the my fiancé for even proposing this solution especially since he stated he would do it with or without me, if I can’t get it under control. If anyone has any suggestions I would be greatly appreciative. My boys are both loving and beautiful in their own ways and I appear to be the only one empathetic enough to understand that this is not a one or the other situation. My heart is breaking….please help!
Time to dump ur fiancé for sure!!
After about 2 weeks we gradually left them. Sometimes just to sit outside to fool them and just make sure but it was about 2 weeks once we re introduced them. They kind of ignored each other which gave more time, every so often in passing a little hiss. I think you will be fine by February for sure!
OMG do I EVER know the pain of this situation. We had an “episode” in our household as well after my oldest kitty had several teeth removed due to dental disease. Carmella was gone for a day and came back (poor baby) all loopy and hurting. Her younger sister and best friend Chloe waited at home. Chloe was a kitten when I got her and Carmella was 5. Chloe was a lovable, persistent little kitten, and relentlessly tried to cozy up and make Carmella love her. It worked and they became besties for years, playing chase around and around at 4am, napping together, adorably snuggled up together, ate together, basically inseparable. Carmella was dominant because she was with us first, and taught little Chloe how to be a grown up cat. By the time of “the incident” Chloe had grown to her adult size (she’s a big girl, 15 pounds) and Carmella just 7 pounds. Her other mama brought Carmella home from the vet and started getting her comfortable while Chloe slowly slunk towards them sniffing and inching cautiously closer. Then, “Wap, hiss, howl” followed by a terrifying chase and attack. A trail of blood followed Carmella all the way to her little cozy cubby on the cat tree where she was terrified, breathing heavy, and babying what looked to me like a closed fracture on her back leg. (turns out Chloe had just bitten her so hard it was that swollen as to appear a much worse injury). We were caught by surprise and headed immediately back to the Emmergency room, shocked by what had just happened. A week later and still no chance of two cats being in sight or nose shot from each other. Every door had to be opened quickly and immediately shut with towels under the doors to prevent swatting, hissing, and growling and more bloodshed. I called the specialty clinic where she had the surgery reporting this strange behavior and the doctor replied very matter of factly, “yeah that sometimes happens. You might have been able to prevented it but they should be fine in a week or two. WHAT?! It could have been prevented?! and they failed to mention it or the information about preventing it. I was so upset. If this was such a known phenomenon why wouldn’t they have mentioned this? Fast forward a year, a year of tears, stress, and reduced quality of life for all cats and people involved, and Carmella and Chloe could tolerate being in the same room at the same time, barely. We still didn’t dare leave the house unsupervised without separating them but at least I didn’t have to give one of my precious fur babies to a new family. I just can’t describe the amount of pain we all suffered during this time, and nothing has ever been the same. No more grooming each other, snuggling or playing. They can sit on the bed together while their mama is present but definitely prefer one-on-one play and snuggle time with mama, never each other. Now, poor toothless, drooling Carmella has to have the rest of her teeth removed. As a result of “the incident” I have quickly become the most knowledgable cat-mom since cat daddy Jackson Galaxy, fielding calls from friends and neighbors asking my advise and expertise on a range of cat topics and knowing what to do. And yet, I’m still scared.
I want that no cat-loving family ever has to experience an incident like this. I can only urge pet parents to do your research. Unfortunately this includes knowing where you are bringing your pet. Just like there are doctors willing to write scripts willy nilly in exchange for perks from big Pharma, I believe there are also animal clinics, pet food companies, and pet insurance companies also willing to sacrifice quality of care for a buck. My mom always says “in our family, we take care of our babies, no matter what.” My mother is wise and gives simple advice. Cats are family. They are complex intelligent creatures that love us (yes, anti-cat dog lovers, they really do!), and they depend on us for their care and wellbeing. And I know you all love your fur babies as much as I do so I’m putting it out there for you to spare you from the heartache we endured. Happing catting!
This is happening to my orange tabby. The things is that I have three cats and he doesn’t seem to have it with any of them. I didn’t take the cats fo the vet or anything. My brother stopped by after a ver trip with his kittens and they only saw them from their bag. He was acting normal right after when I gave them snack. When it was time to bed he freaked out and seems to have forgotten both his best friend and his sister.
This is happening to me right now..but I only have one cat and it’s ME he attacks!!
This is the second time he has done this. The first time, he smelled his own ear on my finger after I scratched his ear, and he went ballistic hissing and literally ATTACKING me. Fast forward about 2 years to today, and I was cleaning up some few-day-old hairballs I found on the top of his cat tree, and when he smelled that on me, he attacked again.
And when I say attacked I mean extremely aggressively coming at me, hissing snarling, screaming..I had to grab a broom and fend him off and even then he kept coming. Then he sh*t on the kitchen floor and went upstairs, into the bedroom. I didn’t know he was in there and went in and he started howling and hissing again..and pissed on the rug. (sigh). Then he went behind the bookcase and sh*t again…Gah!! I put a litter box in there (kinda too late but whatever) and closed the door.
It’s just me and him living here. Obviously he thinks of me like another cat in this scenario–I have a normal smell and when he smells puke or something (from HIM) he thinks I”m someone else and attacks viciously!! Very scary!!
He’s normally a cute and very gentle little guy. He’s just 3 years old.
I fear for my own safety (seriously) when this happens. Last time this happened he calmed down overnight and hopefully will again this time and it seems few and far between but seriously I have had cats all my life (I’m 59) and NEVER experienced this even when I had 2 cats. If this continues I will have to get rid of him. Right now I”m so disgusted w/ this situation I don’t even care about getting rid of him, I’m so angry…but normally I love him more than anything in the world.
I learned from the ear thing, but how was I supposed to know the smell of his own puke/hairballs as I cleaned it up, was going to send him into a blind screaming rage too?? It’s uncertain situations, and that scares me.
Don’t worry too much though as he can’t help it, it’s ingrained for some cats. Why don’t u try asking vet for a few valium tablets to have on have on hand. Then put in food straight after he has these attacks n it has retrograde amnesia meaning he will not recall the incident after the tablet wears off. That’s what we did for ours when these attacks happened.
This article was a life saver. Our Tinkers went to the vet for routine teeth cleaning; I knew I had to keep him separated from our other resident cat Scampers based on the vet’s instructions until the anesthesia wore off fully. However, Tinkers got out of his quarantine room accidentally, and started hissing, growling, and poised for an attack. I managed to grab my attack cat safely and separated them. I couldn’t believe it! They’d always been really good buddies. I found this article, it helped me understand what had happened, and I gradually reintroduced them over a period of days. It was exhausting, but we made it, and they are playful buddies once again. We will do things differently next time. Thank you.
Hi Natalie- how many days did it take? Are things back to how they were? Thanks so much for writing your story. I am on day 5 after peanuts tail got caught under a chair. His brother and bestie of 4.5 years chased him after he ran off and we heard horrible growling hissing and Cheetos seems to be the aggressor in response. It hasn’t been the same since- 3 further fights from missteps. Fully separated for 2 days and we got hisses when we switched rooms today although peanut was hissing at the scent of the room at first but calmed down quick. I am totally heartbroken and am struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I never heard a hiss 4 years from either. We have had them since 6 weeks old. They are domestic tabbies, part Bengal, peanut probably looks it more than Cheetos. I know it takes time, everyone here realizes how heartbreaking it is every single day. 🙁 thanks so much for any advice
Camille’s article and these comments have been the MOST helpful of anything I have read – and i have been glued to my computer looking for help since it happened. Thank you so much
Hi it took us a few months of diligence in swapping them into the separates spaces each day. We let them eat near the door by letting them smell at each other thru door. Eventually through, our u do have to let them come together when they are more settled and then they battle it out with a fight which can b a bit scary.
Thank you so much for writing back. We will keep up with the swapping. Everytime they smell under the door or hear each other (no sight) I just get nervous and hope for no hissing. We will take it very slow. I can’t imagine watching them fight it out 🙁
I would chime in as well that the hardest part is just giving it time and letting it happen gradually and naturally. We did the same thing of swapping rooms and keeping them apart. We tried taking a sock and rubbing one and then going into the other room and do the same so they could smell and maybe get adjusted without seeing the other. What seemed to help also is they love when we would open our window, they both would always run and get on the ledge and look out. We did that a few times when they were still hissing at each other and for a few seconds each time it was almost like they forgot they did not like each others smell and were ok and both would look out. This was on day 6 or 7 and gradually got better each time. Hopefully this is helpful as I remember going through this and looking for any advice we could find as it was heartbreaking and tiring
Dan- the website isn’t allowing me to reply to you directly but your comment was really helpful.
We see peanut as the afraid one, Cheetos as technically the aggressor even though I have a hard time saying that. He misses his brother and wants to be friends, I really think. Peanut hisses and is afraid but runs off and Cheetos sort of reacts surprised and defensive. It escalates from there. I have to try to be less afraid of hisses, just so hard after 4.5 years never hearing a single one even in small play fights anything! My female cat growing up would hiss, never my boys though.
The window comment is definitely helpful. We have a picture frame handing tool that is a laser that they both LOVE – like if I move the bag they come sprinting. I thought about trying to play with that at the same time and ignore the hisses, hopefully. So this is a good tip.
Dan how are your kitties now- back to normal? Forgive me I can’t remember the timeline you said. I can’t imagine ever not being afraid of this moving forward. It was the last thing in the world I expected to happen with my boys. Thank you so much for responding and helping.
Sara, This happened with ours about 2 years ago, they are sisters and one had to have major surgery to remove a ribbon she ate. As soon as we brought her back the one that was OK started hissing the moment her cage came in the front door. The whole aggression time lasted probably close to 8-10 days, my wife and I took turns having one sleep in one room and the other in another room so we could keep them separated at night. They ended up being completely back to normal after the time. The laser light as well was something we did because it distracted them from just looking at the other and hissing
Thank you Dan this is really bringing me some hope. I am so devastated. We are alternating who sleeps in the room as well with the other cat in the second bedroom. It is heartbreaking (and tiring) to hear the alone one cry all night. We will keep our patience and work through this and maybe introduce the picture hanging ladder toy in a few days depending on the vibe. Thank you!!!!
Thanks for these tips! Our older cat Loki spent 3 hours at the vet today for a UTI (they did sedate him) and since getting home our little one Remy has been hissing at him nonstop! But Loki keeps trying to go to him cause he wants his buddy :\ It’s breaking my heart cause they’ve always been best friends. I’ve put Remy in our guest room for the night. Hoping that in the morning Loki will smell like himself and we can scent swap them back into being brothers again!!
I replied to this thread a while ago and wanted to give some updates. This article and the comments were by far the most helpful to my situation and I’d like to do whatever I can to return the favor for when others find themselves in the difficult position of looking for help with this situation…
It has been 7 months since “the incident” between 2 bonded brothers (now 5 years old, adopted together at 8 weeks). Things are good but not perfect. Overall we find our boys are more likely to have “off days” and minor fights than they used to (pre incident). We still won’t leave them alone together while we go away for more than one night. But they have come a very long way.
*the double baby gate in a hall was a game changer. once cats are past the worst of it I think need to be able to see each other and learn each others movements
*we bought them these harnesses: https://www.rabbitgoo.com/products/rabbitgoo-adjustable-cat-harness-and-leash-set – allowed more supervised time together (leash at times) especially several months ago when things were still pretty bad. We find the more nervous one seems comfortable and confident in his and fights are reduced. He wears it and seems comfortable when he’s having “off” days
*we set up “safety pads” in the living room. Just a couple extra towels and blankets in spots they would sit, I think they found comfort instead of a large room where they would “hunt” each other across the room
*we found a way to double the best window perch in size. Their favorite spot and the joint naps lead to more bonding
*we did use low dose gabapentin to get through the absolute worst of it. Our vet prescribed. This helped get them to nap together and let their guard down. We didn’t want this long term and they’re mostly off it at this point
*background relaxing cat music on Spotify might help
*we probably got involved between them more than necessary, but some high pitch talking to them about how they were brothers never seemed to hurt!
*there is no substitute for time and patience. It will get better with time
*if it is a re-introduction, you know your cats best! Those random “silly” tricks might just work for them (this is how we ended up trying specific harnesses, safety pads)
Hope these tips help some other readers. It is so heartbreaking and feels hopeless when this situation happens! Time really does help- hang in there.
We have the same ongoing problem. Same but different. We adopted littermates 3 years ago at 3 months old. Female Porsche and her larger brother Maxfield.
When Max turned 1 he started bugging Porsche constantly. Biting her neck and trying to mount her. Also just jumping out at her and chasing her and stuff like that. I bought a product called Hog Mate that is male pheromones we spray on Porsche that stopped the unwanted sexual agression, but did nothing to stop his jumping at her and chasing constantly. Finally one day she had enough and viciously attacked him. For 3 days he couldn’t show his face without getting attacked.. we went to the internet and found similar advice. We separated them. Then came the non stop howling because they had a door closed they couldn’t get through. I ended up having to spend the nights downstairs with her and my husband upstairs with him. Clearly that wasn’t working.
We finally installed a screen door between our upstairs and downstairs.
We did all the steps with treats and feeding within sight of each other through the door. After about 2 months of this we did supervised visits with joint playtime and finally we got back to normal. Sort of.. As time goes by Max gets bolder and bolder and he resumes his habit of stalking and chasing… And then she’s had enough and attacks him again..
We’ve had to do this process 3 times in two years now. There seems to be no permanent fix… So we still have a screen door in our house for the next time.
I am dreading another potential 17 years of this. It disrupts everything
Is it possible for this to happen between a cat and dog? My cat VIOLENTLY attacks my dog and sometimes other cat. It’s usually either triggered by a light noise or something that startled the cat, but sometimes it’s out of nowhere. I notice this sometimes happens after the dog has been out with us all day.
Sheldon, the aggressor, is on gabopentin. Going to start him on Prozac as well. We are actively giving him more attention, playing with him, and are doing everything we can. I feel so lost and am starting to get worried I’ll need to remind Sheldon which I really don’t want to do because he’s my late moms cat.
I haven’t tried completely separating him yet, but how do you reintroduce with a cat and dog?
I have four fur babies; Pixar, Lily, Lucy, & PeeWee. I listed them oldest to youngest. Today my youngest PeeWee was neutered. Pixar is a male & he showed territorial behavior everg time one of them was added to our family. That’s a given, right! I knew the steps to take. But today when PeeWee got home Pixar didnt come out right away. I had to go to a dinner so I did put PeeWee in a separate semi empty room. He is 5 months, he has a lot of energy and needs to be contained so he can heal. When I got him I let PeeWee out not thinking anything. Pixar finally smelled PeeWee and he freaked. Pixar started aggressively meowing at every cat and even at myself.. I was freaking out, I thought something was hurting him. I thought he must be in pain to be aggressively meowing at me. It took me a few minutes to think about how PeeWees odor might have changed.. I start googling things switching words around so I could find the answer that I was looking for and this post gave me the answer I was looking for. Thank you! I am now taking the steps to control the situation and ease Pixar into remembering his PeeWee again. Just last night they were laid up with theirs heads laid against each other :,) breaks my heart because PeeWee just wants love and affection. Anyways, pray for PeeWee’s recovery & Pixars nerves 🙏🏼
I didn’t read that log in very well…As I said before, I’ve experienced this happening a few years back. Now something new as arisen. I’ve got an older male cat, about 17 years old, who’s getting to that stage of life where he can’t move around as well as he used to. The other cat I have is a female who is probably around 8/9 years old (Both are fixed and totally indoor cats). The older one has always been a docile diva, who protected the younger female from an older male cat I had. She has always treated him like a older brother. Some play fighting, but nothing serious. 2 days ago I was awoken at 3 am with them tearing into each other on the bed. The female was the aggressor. They haven’t been away from each other in 7 months, vet wise. It took quite awhile to get her to calm down. I thought that was the end of it, you know, something just happened and they’re done with it. The female, though, kept on “spying” the male from afar, got a little closer and changed positions from time to time. I would come back in the living room and there she was, “checking him out”, like she had no idea who that cat was. 2 attacks this morning have happened…big time fights! The older one who is twice her size isn’t built for that anymore. He was scared to come out of the bathroom, even though I had put the female into my bedroom and closed the door. I’m going to try some of the steps from the article and the comments, but I’m confused about why this would be happening all of a sudden. Has the older cat’s body chemistry changed? I’ll take any suggestions. Thanks!
We’re going through this right now but what happened with our cats is one of them got sick and stayed in his bed for a couple days and I don’t think he was grooming himself and stuff cuz he was too sick. I think our other cat doesn’t recognizes him now just because of the grooming I guess. He sniffs him and then he starts hissing at him like he doesn’t know him. It’s breaking my heart because the sick one wants his brother back and wants to hang out and wants attention from him and he won’t have anything to do with him. These two cats are I guess you consider Barn cats. We got them as working cats and they sleep in our shop and they’ve been best buddies since they got here. Their beds are next to each other but the one that’s not sick won’t sleep in his bed next to his brother. They’re not really fighting or anything and I have no way really of separating them. They’re not allowed in the house. I’m hoping that once the sick one feels better he’ll groom himself more and hopefully get his scent back but I might try to catnip spray or something to get them both smelling the same or something I don’t know I’m just very distraught with what to do with them.
So i am currently in the fourth week of this. My cats are 11 year old sisters who live indoors and have never been apart. One recently had to have a couple of teeth removed and when i brought her home our life literally turned upside down. That first night there was a slight hiss but the next day there was a full on screaming, hissing, cyclone of a fight! It was terrifying. Since then i have had them separated. I think i have done all of the things. I have cat pheromone diffusers going, we are swapping scent, we are doing room rotations and we have started feeding them either side of the door gradually opening it a fraction and moving bowls closer. The other morning as i went to do a room rotation, one escaped! Ran into the other room, totally freaked out the other cat and we had another horrific fight, where even i got attacked. So i am starting all over again. I am a mess, it is absolutely heartbreaking to see them like this and I just don’t know what else to try next.
Oh hon it’s awful isn’t it! Mine did this again just before Xmas last year.. took me 7 weeks to get em back together (they’re 16) just keep persevering !!! I’ve got my cats teeth having to be done next year – dreading it! Gonna seperate them straight away , hopefully I’ll be able to introduce them to each other quicker without a fight . But I’d imagine still weeks! X